Dear Father - The Church Says "Yes"

Q: My friends argue that religion is just a bunch of “shall nots” and “don’ts” and should align more with the culture; how do I defend the Church?

A: It is said by many that the first words spoken by a child are often “mama” or “dada.” Those are incredible moments for any parent. Soon after though, the most common next word learned is “no!” Put some food in front of the child ... “no!” Try to give the child a bath ... “no!” Lay the child in bed ... “no!” And in fairness, the child hears the word “no” a lot to keep him/her safe: The child is
pulling mom’s hair ... “no!” The child is throwing food ... “no!”

I think it is fair to say that, often, we think of the Catholic Church’s teachings as saying “no” more than saying “yes!” I suppose that’s not unusual. After all, eight of the ten commandments use the word “no” or “not.” Only two tell us what we
should do, rather than what we should not do.

Far be it from me to question the Lord on the wording (see what happened to Moses). But don’t forget, the first words in sacred Scripture have “yes” at their very core. God said “yes” to creating the heavens, the earth, the sea, the land, the animals. And, of course, he created man and woman, making them in his own image and likeness. Of all of his creation, God found it “very good.” How could we interpret that as anything else than “yes!”

Of course, man and woman were the first ones to say “no!” We witness that pushback in so many places in sacred Scripture. But there are extraordinary moments where the word “yes” is used (or at least understood). Among the greatest “yes” in the New Testament is the “fiat” of Mary, when she consents to God’s call to be his mother. She sets the example of saying “yes.”

Recall how the Pharisees were always trying to trap Jesus and label him a heretic. He clearly tells them: “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.” (Matt 5:17) In other words, Jesus’ Way is not a no but a yes, and his fulfillment on the Cross is what earns us the path to salvation and eternal life. That’s one big yes in my book!

So, to those who may be unchurched or non-believers, it might seem like the Church says “no” a lot, but what she really is saying is “yes.” For example, the
Church says “yes” to the dignity of life from natural conception to natural death. The Church says “yes” to marriage being between one man and one woman. The
Church says “yes” that at the Mass, the bread and wine become the actual Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus. She says “yes” to the mercy of God when we go to confession; “yes” to following God’s call; “yes” to promoting the common good; “yes” to the respect of every human being. The yes list goes on and on.

It’s natural for us to question our faith, as well as our thoughts, words and actions, when we perceive the Church as saying “no.” But we always have to keep an open mind, bring it to prayer and consider that the Church is most likely saying “yes” to something when we are only hearing “no.” It isn’t long before a parent
hears a child say “yes.” Maybe we can spend the time to see where the Church is always, in the end, saying “yes.”