For years, Jay Landry described his approach to life as “being on a treadmill to make my life worthy of God’s love. It was, and remains, an illusion that only took life from me.” His participation in the diocesan Trauma Recovery Program helped him realize that “God loves us first. I don’t have to prove my worth to God whose love empowers us to be good.” Jay attributes that lifelong feeling of unworthiness to a childhood trauma he experienced when he was just two years old.
And after participation in the diocesan Trauma Recovery Program, he’s enthusiastic to share its life-altering impact on his own life.
From outward appearances, Jay may seem an unlikely candidate for such a program. On staff at St. Catherine of Siena Parish, Jay is a popular teacher and speaker who has devoted his career to adult faith formation. However, he joins the more than 60 percent of adults who are estimated to have experienced some type of traumatic event during childhood.
Left unresolved, the impact of childhood trauma on an individual’s life can be devastating, leading to a variety of challenges from broken relationships to addictive behaviors.
In 2002, in direct response to the then-breaking news of the clergy sex abuse crisis in the Church, Sharon Froom and Father Ken Schmidt, both licensed mental health professionals, were starting a program at St. Thomas More Student Parish where Father Ken was the pastor. The two recognized the need for the program beyond the parish and presented their idea to Bishop James Murray. With his full support, the program expanded to include people in the entire diocese, free of charge. To date, more than 500 people in the diocese have participated, and many, such as Jay, report the powerful impact it has made in their lives.
What’s different about the Trauma Recovery Program is its specialized approach to a person’s healing and a focus on the present, not the past. During the weekly sessions, participants focus not on reliving the trauma they experienced as children, but on moving forward with tools and solutions to their life’s challenges.
“The biggest fear is that participants will have to reveal the details of their childhood trauma to the people in the group, but that is not the case,” stresses Father Ken. “They can speak about it to one of the mental health professionals who facilitate the group in a personal interview before the program begins. The Trauma Recovery Program [is centered on the belief] that acceptance of the present and doing things differently in the future can bring about healing, and repeatedly describing the past simply stirs up old wounds.
“A second fear,” adds Father Ken, “is that participants believe that they can’t get better. But we have witnessed people who have carried their hurts for decades enjoy significant positive change.”
When asked if anyone had noticed a change in him since his participation in the program, Jay laughs as he explains, “My wife asked me one day, ‘What’s the matter with you? You’re not nearly as intense or argumentative.’”
This observation by his spouse was a good thing, Jay says. He explains that for years he thought it was his quest to never take no for an answer — and to always be right. “The Trauma Recovery Program helped me to be more accepting, to begin to be as compassionate with myself as I want to be with others,” he says.
He also credits the program with helping him to “surrender what I can’t fix or heal to God’s love. It’s given me more patience with the brokenness of the world and other people because the program has helped me begin to forgive as something moving from my head to my heart.”
One significant change for Jay was to help him name and identify “triggers” — those things or situations that would lead him to relive feelings associated with his trauma.
“I could learn how to appropriately deal with my triggers by reminding myself to be present in the moment, to ‘ground,’ as they taught me in the program.”
For years, Jay said he was employing the survival technique of “stuffing my feelings” and not dealing with them.
“This survival technique was not a good coping mechanism,” admits Jay, who adds that it’s precisely that type of behavior that will catch up with you physically.
“I was stuffing my feelings and it would go into my body, taking a physical and emotional toll,” he says.
Interestingly, eight or nine weeks into the program, Jay says his stuttering condition that he had dealt with since he was age two virtually disappeared.
“I began to feel my feelings — instead of being on a quest to change reality hoping that the feeling would go away. I realized that feeling pain, anger and loss was not the end of the world. Rather, feeling these feelings allows them to do their work and move on, especially if I share them with someone who just listens; that helps me feel less alone, for that person becomes a vessel of God’s love,” he explains.
After completing the program, he also participated in the follow-up support group. What’s Jay’s advice for potential participants? “Block out the time. This is important and I made it a priority. The more I got into it the more I realized how much more grateful I was to go through the process.”
So grateful, in fact, that Jay even frequently goes back and reviews the homework he completed during the program.
“One of the most freeing things I’ve learned is sharing my brokenness with my wife and close friends,” he continues. “The more secrets I keep, the less I heal. God is the one in charge of my healing journey, but I have to let God into the pain to love me amidst the brokenness of life. The more honest I am with those close to me, the more honest I am with myself. It allows me to be embraced by God’s compassion, and that embrace is truly healing.”
WHAT IS IT?
The Trauma Recovery Program is a faith-based response to adult survivors of childhood abuse and/or neglect. It is offered free of charge by the Diocese of Kalamazoo.
Participants meet in a small group setting for 10 sessions. The groups are comprised of six to 10 trauma survivors, facilitated by two fully credentialed mental health professionals (and a priest whenever possible). Once individuals have completed the treatment group, they can attend a support group that meets for eight biweekly sessions.
WHAT ABOUT CONFIDENTIALITY?
Group members are provided with a safe environment in which they can identify conflicts and unlearn specific behaviors related to the effects of the trauma. The facilitator- therapists maintain confidentiality, and group members are expected to do the same.
HOW DO I REGISTER?
Any Catholic in the Diocese of Kalamazoo who is an adult survivor of childhood abuse or neglect can apply to participate in the Trauma Recovery Program. Participants must call 269.459.2121 to register.
FOR SPANISH SPEAKERS:
Si habla español, para información sobre el Programa de Recuperación de Traumas Psicológicos, puede llamar Lisette Mira-Amaya, 269.569.8528.
2020
Mondays 9 a.m.-11:30 a.m.; Saturdays, 9 a.m.-noon March 9, 16, 23, 30; April 6, 13, 20, 25, 27; May 4. St. Catherine of Siena 1150 W. Centre Ave., Portage, MI 49024 TRP English — Learning Group GLP Room