Marriage Matters: It's Never Too Late to Start New Advent Traditions

Some family traditions (or customs) are easy to identify because they are different from our day-to-day routine. For example, the way my family always opens one Christmas present on Christmas Eve right before preparing to go to Mass at midnight, or the way our family goes out to celebrate the birth of Jesus with an early morning breakfast on Christmas Day, or the way families always get together for the Thanksgiving dinner celebrations, or the way we celebrate birthdays.

Other family traditions are more hidden. Not because we can’t see them but because they are going on all the time, and we take them for granted. For example, as I was growing up, my father always drove the car on family outings although my mother was just as good a driver. My mother always did the “inside chores” together with my sisters, and my father and I always took care of the “outside chores” together with my brothers. These family traditions are simply the way our family did things.

We rarely talk about these family traditions, yet everyone knows to adhere to them. For instance, we knew (from experience), never to ask Dad for anything right after he walked in the house from work. Knowing that Dad was tired, hungry and stressed from work made us more empathetic as we grew in patience and other virtues. And we also knew that attending Mass together as a family was a given and that skipping out on Mass was nonnegotiable.

Families also have a routine or unspoken tradition around prayer. Maybe you routinely give thanks at mealtimes or pray the rosary together. Or maybe you have an unspoken custom of engaging in individual prayer and don’t routinely pray together as a family.

Well, it’s never too late to start a new family tradition, and Advent presents the perfect opportunity. And if that’s not convincing enough, consider the following research, which identified several common themes related to prayer and family relationships, including:

• Families used prayer time as a way to transmit religious traditions to younger generations.
• Prayer enabled family members to address problems or stresses they were facing as well as reduced tensions in their relationships.
• Prayer helped family members bond with one another and created a sense of family unity.

Perhaps begin the tradition of praying together as a family for 5 to 10 minutes each day. Choose what’s best for your family; maybe incorporate the time into your morning routine or bedtime or evening routines. This sacred time together will nourish the souls of all, and the gift of God’s love will fill hearts on Christmas day.


*Journal of Family Psychology, 2018


Advent Prayer

Lord Jesus, master of both the light and the darkness, send your Holy Spirit upon our preparations for Christmas. We who have so much to do and seek quiet spaces to hear your voice each day, we who are anxious over many things, look forward to your coming among us. We who are blessed in so many ways long for the complete joy of your kingdom. We whose hearts are heavy seek the joy of your presence. We are your people, walking in darkness, yet seeking the light. To you we say, “Come, Lord Jesus!” Amen.
- Henri J.M. Nouwen


Prayers for Lighting the Advent Wreath Candles

FIRST WEEK

All-powerful God, increase our strength of will for doing good that Christ may find an eager welcome at his coming and call us to his side in the kingdom of heaven, where he lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever. Amen.

SECOND WEEK

God of power and mercy, open our hearts in welcome. Remove the things that hinder us from receiving Christ with joy so that we may share his wisdom and become one with him when he comes in glory, for he lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, forever and ever. Amen.

THIRD WEEK

Lord God, may we, your people, who look forward to the birthday of Christ, experience the joy of salvation and celebrate that feast with love and thanksgiving. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

FOURTH WEEK

All-powerful God, your eternal Word took flesh on our earth when the Virgin Mary placed her life at the service of your plan. Lift our minds in watchful hope to hear the voice which announces his glory and open our minds to receive the Spirit who prepares us for his coming. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

Source: Jesuitresource.org, the Center for Mission and Identity at Xavier University.