Marriage Matters: Parenting With Prudence

“Prudence is the mother of virtues which depends upon the practical wisdom gained by experience matched with an agile mind to make decisions in the here and now. Each time Joseph knew the will of God, he acted decisively, swiftly and accurately. He acted neither rashly nor timidly, but prudently.”*

What does it mean to be a prudent spouse, a prudent parent?

My beloved Tony and I did not always agree in matters of discipline when raising our four (now adult) children. However, we were able to maintain a unified parenting style as we delivered ‘just’ punishments for acts of disobedience. And, as our children grew, so did the challenges and problems they (and we) faced.

I remember asking my child to go to her room and pray for me when we had a disagreement and were not getting anywhere by discussing in an emotional manner. This was a prudent way to let her think about her behavior and help her to prayerfully discern her options before returning to the conversation.

As I think of my own parents and the way they carried out our day to day home life, I am grateful for the virtues I learned, especially what I learned from my father.

My father was a very quiet and intelligent man. He would speak only as needed. This made me always pay close attention to him whenever he spoke. He never raised his voice in a tone of anger (though my brothers brought him to near this breaking point on many an occasion).

In this Year of St. Joseph, I think of my father’s example, too. St. Joseph was a most prudent and quiet man; even as he learned that his beloved ‘Mary’ was with child before taking her as his wife. St. Joseph was not only prudent and understanding as a husband and father in his ‘Holy’ family; he was (and continues to be) very powerful as a role model for all parents today.

Parenting with Prudence Strategies

• Pause and pray, preferably together as a couple when confronting a parental challenge. 
• Regularly discuss together the “house rules” for your children and brainstorm agreed upon solutions to potential parenting challenges.
• Agree upon a united front strategy