Marriage Matters - The Adventure of a Lifetime - Southwest Michigan Catholic

by Socorro Truchan

As my beloved, Tony, and I drove to a Valentine’s retreat for couples this year, we had little to share with each other during the long trip. We had risen very early in the morning, and it was still dark outside. Our communication centered primarily on praying the rosary, all four sets of mysteries (joyful, luminous, sorrowful and glorious).

As we arrived at the loca-tion, greeted our hosts, and made our way to the morning breakfast table, I noticed how beautiful the surroundings were. Tables decorated with flowers and hearts really set the tone for a loving en-counter and experience for participating couples. I was so looking forward to this time with my beloved!Among the participants were a newlywed couple married seven months and another couple married 67 years. Tony and I were one of the middle-of-the-road couples, married 33 years. As I looked around the room and prepared to live out the retreat, I pondered the following: How do we measure the success of a marriage? Is it the number of years married? Is it the number of children? Is it the love expressed in the faces we see?Accompaniment is essen-tial. We do not and cannot walk alone in this journey. When we gather as a commu-nity of couples and listen to one another in a reciprocal manner, and learn from oneanother, we continue to deepen our vocation to the sacrament of marriage. It takes patience and listening from the heart.At the retreat we learned to sharpen our communication skills — and recognize that men and women are different yet complementary. We are inspired to fix our eyes on recognizing Christ, the image of God, in the other. We learn that when we practice doing this, it becomes a natural way to live out our baptismal call. The journey continues to form us until “death do us part ... and we are called Home....”I share this joyful expe-rience because marriage is not an easy journey. We look for ways to mentor and be mentored by other couples because sometimes we struggle to stay on point, especially when we are go-ing through many trials and difficulties in life.

WAYS TO HELP MARRIAGES THRIVE: Pray, pray, pray ... with and for each other. Prayer is powerful — especially praying together as a cou-ple. I have a circle of friends who will pray for my needs with no questions asked. The Lord himself has said it many times: “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened.” (Mt 7:7) Make time for communion with other couples. Tony and I often go to breakfast with another couple after Mass on Sundays. This has been very edifying for us throughout our married life. We learn from each other, and are able to comfort these couples or find comfort our-selves when we feel stressed or anxious on the journey. Practice the art of accompaniment. The first two to three years of marriage can be very iso-lating at times for a newlywed couple. People sometimes believe that newlyweds are “not to be disturbed” because it’s their honeymoon time. But actually, as couples settle into their daily routines, they need accompaniment the most in order to stay on course. Be valiant and reach out to that young couple you see at Mass on Sundays or any-where else. Invite them to a specific event at your parish or simply talk with them.

PRAYER FOR MARRIED COUPLES:
Almighty and eternal God, You blessed the union of husband and wife so that we might reflect the union of Christ with his Church: look with kindness on us. Renew our marriage covenant. Increase your love in us, and strengthen our bond of peace so that, [with our children,] we may always rejoice in the gift of your blessing. We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.