At the intersection of faith and family, the Lahs found community

Have you ever found yourself longing for the community and support of life in a religious order but know life as a priest, sister or brother is not what you are called to?
 
For many single lay people, couples and families, the answer to that longing is found through lay religious orders. Third orders and lay associations, as they are called, are attracting a wide variety of Catholics who are searching for a deeper spirituality in their faith lives.
 
Emily and Michael Lah, parishioners at SS. John and Bernard Parish, Benton Harbor, are one such married couple. The Lahs are members of the Brothers and Sisters of Charity, a public association of the faithful, similar to a third order.
 
When the Lah family discerned a cross-country move, they weren’t sure what they would find. They just knew it was in God’s hands. Together since their senior year of high school, they attended separate universities in Indiana before marrying and eventually landing in Texas. Michael, who grew up Lutheran, joined the Catholic Church the following year.
 
It was through the encouragement of their pastor in Austin, Texas, that Emily and Michael were introduced to the Brothers and Sisters of Charity and its founder, John Michael Talbot.
 
Largely based on the teachings of St. Francis of Assisi, the association’s priorities are similar to those the Lahs were already working to instill in their own home — experiencing Jesus through prayer, study and evangelization, centering their lives on the evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity and obedience.
 
Soon after relocating to Southwest Michigan, following a period of discernment and a new job opportunity, the Lahs attended a retreat on the life lessons of St. Francis led by Talbot. They returned home refreshed but still felt called to form community in their new home.
 
It was a serendipitous conversation with their new neighbors over coffee and donuts after Mass the next weekend that the local “cell group” began to take shape.
 
And so, eleven years ago, the cell group at SS. John and Bernard Parish, Benton Harbor was formed. There are now seven permanently professed members and four others who are still on the path of discernment, all from St. Joseph Parish, St. Joseph and SS. John and Bernard Parish.
 
Founded in 1980, the Brothers and Sisters of Charity are a unique blend of charismatic and contemplative expressions, with both a domestic and monastic expression including celibate brothers and sisters, singles and families. Their rule is: “Jesus is our primary example; the Scripture is our primary rule; our primary law is love.”
 
The journey to final professions as a brother or sister includes candidacy, six to 12 months as a postulant, one to two years as a novice and a first profession for three years, culminating in permanent profession. During these periods of discernment, a person learns more about the life of this community, receives spiritual guidance and both the community and the individual prayerfully discern if this is the right community for them.
 
As domestics within the Brothers and Sisters of Charity, the Lahs’ priority is their family. Now made up of four daughters ages 5 to 15, the Lahs start and end their day reflecting on the way of life they’ve professed and how the choices they make each day bring them closer to Christ, how they can be “created anew,” as the community’s rule states. Even as permanently professed members, there isn’t a set of rules they have to follow. Rather, they focus on taking the way of life taught by St. Francis and attuning it to their specific vocation and life situation.
 
For example, for the Lahs, centering their lives on poverty means they live below their means, spending their money consciously and avoiding purchases that aren’t necessities.
 
Members of the community are actively involved in their parishes and work to support their pastors in trying new ways to help the lay faithful deepen their relationship with Christ.
 
The Lahs, for example, ran with a priest’s suggestion of bringing St. Andrews School of Evangelization’s New Life program to their parish, a weekend retreat they’ve run with a team of 20-30 people several times over the past few years.
 
Evangelizing has become part of their daily lives beyond the programs they help with at their parish. Whether it’s at a retreat or at swim class, the Lahs strive to be open to the prodding of the Holy Spirit when it comes to sharing their faith with others.
 
“One time I was at swim class and another mom sat down next to me,” said Emily. “In the course of our conversation, we landed on the topic of Theology of the Body for Teens [by Christopher West] and she asked me where she could get more information and she’s wasn’t even Christian. It’s all about being open to opportunities, being able to speak about the faith with confidence and loving [the people you’re speaking with] where they’re at.”
 
According to Emily, an often overlooked aspect of caring for each other is the reality of spiritual poverty.
 
“There are several safety nets for financial poverty but people struggling with spiritual poverty slip away from their faith every day,” says Emily. “People who used to go to Mass every weekend now miss because of soccer matches or other busyness, and no one reaches out to them.”
 
Some of this, the Lahs believe, is because the damage done by spiritual poverty is harder to see than the realities of financial poverty.
 
“Maybe we’re called to walk alongside them to help get back to the right path or maybe we’re just called to plant that mustard seed,” said Emily. “The key is to build relationships, always be ready to witness your faith and invite, invite, invite.”